After exchanging a few words with Amanda about bad review sites, we came to the conclusion that it only made sense to set up a list with things that will gain you points while you get reviewed by these bad review sites.
Of course any ‘official’ list needs a good name and what can be better than honoring the review site that started this article in the name; The Stellar Scale.

Of course I can’t guarantee this will actually get you more points but gathering all the feedback I have from all bad review sites I came across, these points seem to be the key to get you higher up their scale.

1. You need to have a big graphic, either featuring a celebrity blend or some funky brushes. It might just be worth your while to combine the two; a celebrity blend with funky brushes.
2. Justify your text, not only is it bad for readability (because frankly who cares about that?!) it makes your text look longer, even if you only wrote a few sentences.
3. Don’t bother about your coding too much, if you go out of your way to get a CSS layout they will still insult your intelligence by saying you used tables or, if they managed to look at your coding, suggest you should use tables instead.
4. Link back to them, while by itself it’s not a bad thing to link back to a review site, it will get you extra points with a bad review site. Especially if you place the link on your index page.
5. Have a splash page, most of them will love it, especially if you also include a few requirements such as screen resolution and of course RESPECT.
6. For your visitors, make sure you have some tutorials up on things like ‘basic html’, of course it doesn’t matter if the tutorials aren’t yours and you don’t credit. What do the people at whatiscopyright.org know anyway?
7. Using javascript in a moderated way is a big no-no, you need to use it all the time and everywhere. Too bad for the people who have it disabled, but that’s their problem, you had it in your requirements right?!
8. Are you a big spelling Nazi? Don’t bother, a bad review site that’s good at what it does (giving bad reviews) will change a word that’s spelled correctly into something that’s spelled incorrectly, deduct points from their grading for it and mention you should do a spell check. So not paying attention to your spelling makes life easier; it saves you time.

These eight points are easy to achieve on any website and will most likely get you wonderful reviews from bad review sites. And we all know they are out there, in larger numbers than we want them to be. Just don’t come complaining to me when your perfectly good website changes into a teen-drama-queen website and your visitor numbers drop tremendously after applying the previous eight points, you’re the one wanting to end up high on the scales of bad review sites, I merely told you how to do it.

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