Confession Part I
Over the years people have mentioned to me that I’m a ‘tough’ person. For various reasons but one of them is because I can be tough on myself and other people. Most people see me as a person who is always willing to help others and who sees the best in every situation. Frankly I always see myself as someone who is willing to help others. I usually laughed at the people telling me I was tough on others.
Surely since a few days I can actually agree with them. Reflecting on situations in the past I have to admit that they were right. I bet you want an example now, well here we go. In college there used to be this girl that didn’t ‘belong’ anywhere so my and my friends sort of took her in, but she never really fitted in. That by itself wasn’t a problem but the fact that she would run out of classes for no reason locking herself up in a toilet cubicle was quiet a bit of a problem. Not only for us as a class because it would interrupt lectures, because also for herself as her social skills weren’t that great to begin with but got worse through this.
After trying to help her numerous times, and getting no response, as well as multiple offers from college to help her out I decided it was time to move on as this really seemed a basket case. This may sound harsh but why would I let myself get pulled down in her sorrows. I didn’t realize I am this way until, well, quiet recently. It’s too personal to get into the exact reasons why I finally came to this realization but it finally hit me.
I am, despite what I used to think, a harsh and tough person when I need to be. I wouldn’t go so far as to say, my way or the highway, but I can cut a line and exclude you from my life.
That’s enough for today, enough confessions.
Plugged: 6 Comments on "Confession Part I"
One thing I really cannot do is criticise myself properly. Of course, I can say “oh, I don’t like this, that, blah blah”, but to actually form an argument behind it I struggle with, so congratulations on that.
Yes, you left her, but not after numerous attempts at trying.. That doesn’t necessarily make you harsh and tough…
Yes, you left her, but not after numerous attempts at trying.. That doesn’t necessarily make you harsh and tough…
That’s true but not only in this situation but also in others (now I’m thinking of it) I’m able to make these decision of excluding them from my life without being bothered.
According to M-W.com the definition of tough is;
marked by absence of softness or sentimentality
And with this definition I have to say that my decisions for exclusion do make me tough, my attitude is a go-fuck-yourself-then attitude at those times.
Well, you’ve tried to make her feel better by taking her in and hanging out with her. That definitely doesn’t sound like something a hard and tough person would do.
It sounds like she didn’t really wanted your help, or didn’t know how to deal with it in order to feel more included or something. It’s okay to think of yourself first in that kind of situation. You don’t want to feel miserable just because she is.
Besides, I’d probably have done the same thing. And I don’t think that’s really all that harsh a thing to do, really. I don’t give up easily, but if things are really hopeless, I wouldn’t want to waste my energy on it.
I’m definately the same way… actually, I’m probably more critical.
Although, thinking honestly, I’m not sure I would just let them go, in high school, I would have the “weirdos” gravitate towards me because I would be the only one that is nice to them. But, I can be quite uh witchy at times.
I guess, I believe in a case to case basis. If the person needs me, I’ll be there, but they need to make an effort also.
Speaking of tough… I have the maintenance crew about to bow to my will because I finally went above their heads. They want to have a meeting with me so that I don’t get them in trouble… lol So I can be tough to.
Ohhhh, I didn’t realise that you meant more than one occasion. I still think that you were more than kind to her in the first place, and that counts for something in my book. 
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It was said quite honestly) I admire your ability to analise yourself! I always try to do the same on my blog